Saturday, December 28, 2013

X Marks The Spot

Of the horrific crash.  Where X is gonna give it to you.  Let's talk about X baby.  Marie Marchand-Arvier getting worked at Val d'Isere.  I recently just became able to spell Val d'Isere correctly without looking at anything first for confirmation.  Isn't that nice?  I sure think so.  Anyways, let's get down to business and analyze how unlucky number 13's day went.  Also just be forewarned, this is a sportscience edition of Slalom Toyko Drift.

Marie makes me want to roll my windows down because she is cruising.
But don't get it twisted.  This blog life?  Is NOT... A... EFFING... GAME!  It's what you're hearing, listen.  I wonder if Marie can recover gracefully from this troubling predicament? 
Looks like a hard no on that front.  Someone put the hip back in her socket when you get a chance.
Aaaaand WHAMMY.
The purpose of the next three photos is to show how insanely high her ski goes.
Potentially thirty feet in the air.
Marie crosses two separate dye lines before that ski lands.  So based on that distance and that height I calculated she crashed at exactly 1.3 fucktons of force and will require 781 Advil pills.
You know that movie Happy Feet?  This is the opposite of Happy Feet.  Her boots look like they are crying.

Send me crashes!  Slalom Ace out.

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