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Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Snow Snake Pt. 2

Guys.  I know National Geographic is going to approach me one day and fund me so I can finally prove the existence of the snow snake, and maybe even hope to catch one.  But until that day comes, this is the best I can do for you.  Murphy "Cooler than Hig" Roberts getting eaten alive out there by flesh-eating snow snakes.  Rumor has it they build their snake nests in rolled up B Net and eat U16s.  Stay safe out there everyone.  Next person to screenshot their weather app and put it on FB loses a testicle.  That applies to crossfit workout stuff too (cough cough).

(FYI, here's SNOW SNAKE part one)

A little pinchy but what are ya gonna do.  Murphy's a tall kid.
And he makes it out just fine.  Look at that.  Moving up and forward through the turn, just like you would read about in the classic book, "How The Racers Ski" by Warren Witherell.
So relevant Ian, so relevant.
AWWW SHIT SNOW SNAKE!  SNOWSNAKE!  I SEENT IT!  I SEENT IT!
The snow snake appears to be an anaconda or python.  You can see it wrapped clearly around Murphy's neck.
Now that the snow snake has Murphy to the ground I imagine it will next try to drag him back to the snake's lair. 
The snow snake covering murphy in snow snake sleep poison.  Or something like that.  Maybe fart.
The snow snake has trapped Murphy in the red spider's web.  He may never be seen again.  It's a damn shame what happened to that boy.
Video:


The most tragic part of Murphy's death to a snow snake or possibly family/colony of snow snakes is that he was such a chill bro.  Let's take a look, shall we?
Hig Roberts
Elder brother Hig courtesy of the Middlebury roster photos.  Looks decently chill, but has slight bags under the eyes from long nights studying macroeconomic principles while revising his cover letters to nail that Graham breakdancing internship.  Now show me the recently deceased:
Murphy Roberts
So fucking chill.  Thinking about that J-term class right now.  African drumming?  Photographing frost?  Who knows.  I'm 23 and miserable, and I've completely lost it.  Sorry for not updating the blog you guys.  Rule number 76 is no excuses, play like a champion.  All I can do is promise to be better.  Fire flames crashes coming up soon.  Nascar quality, I'm talking.  theamericanmob@gmail.com with that new stuff.  Slalom Ace Out.



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