Wednesday, January 15, 2014


So this one time I was at a race at Alpine Meadows.  Was it Alpine Meadows?  Well it actually might have been Heavenly.  And we had a pretty early morning getting to the race on time.  We actually ended up showing up like 10 or 15 minutes earlier than we wanted to, so I had a really good breakfast sandwich with bacon.  Was it bacon?  It might have been sausage.  No it was definitely bacon.  It wasn't very good though.  Well I don't know if it was bacon or sausage but it definitely wasn't ham.  So eventually I grab my bib, I'm pretty sure I was outside of the top 30 but inside the top 50.  Like, 38 maybe.  Or maybe 42 or 43 or something like that, you know?  So anyway I go up and take a freerun before inspection opens.  It was a fine run the snow was pretty good.  And then I head up for inspection.  I think it was just an open FIS race but it might have been like a devo or something.  Not a qualifier for anything, so I wasn't worried.  Anyways I head up for inspection per usual, and I'm sliding through the course, red gate blue gate, red gate blue gate, etc.  Visualizing, fraternizing, you know.  When all of a sudden I see a big group of racers that have stopped.  I think to myself, is there a coach?  Is there a coach here giving a report of the course?  Is that's what's going on?  But no.  Right past the undergate, right in front of the hairpin... there was a big fucking bear.  And everyone was freaking out, obviously, right?  Because it's a bear.  A big soulless killing machine.  So yes, everyone is freaking out about this bear situation.  And we wait for about five minutes.  And this bear is just right in the middle of the course.  We can't keep inspecting.  Eventually, one of the courseworkers, or maybe the TD or something, decides to try to get the bear of the course.  It doesn't budge.  So eventually, he just decides to talk to it.  He says, "Hey, bear.  What are you looking at?"  And the bear looks right back at him and says, "Well, I'm just looking at the line I'm gonna take between this undergate and this...





So the TD looks at him and says, "Hey bear, why the big pause?"  And the bear looks right back at him and says, "I don't know, I've always had them."


I didn't know UMaine had a ski team!  Bears eat cats, that's for damn sure.
Thanks on thanks to Riley for the video of the year.  Ski racing coverage like nowhere else folks.  Slalom Toyko Drift.  The legend continues.

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