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Wednesday, March 12, 2014

RICE - Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation

RICE is the go to for sprains and sore joints,  And this crash has three of the four elements.  No rest.  Just ICE.  Mont St. Anne Downhill 2014, welcome to the Thunderdome.  I've been to St. Anne, and it is gorgeous.  It is also VERY far north of the wall.  Side note over.  So Jon Snow here is losing elevation, crushing through the ice, when he gets a little compression.  Let's see how it works out for him, and whether or not he has been doing any lifting this summer.

"Hooooooo yeah boys... got that low tuck like you read about.  Bode Miller got nothing on me!"
"Boom a little roll coming?  It's nothing.  I'll press those hands forward.  I could do this all day, bodies in the hallway."
"Okay well ya know what I'm so sick at DH I'm actually just gonna show everyone my sponsors now cuz WHY NOT."
"Woo!  Peep these race boards homies!  You peepin?  You peepin?"
"Alright, a little wave to the crowd, and I'll get right back on course."
"Oh fuck I forgot to lift all summer."
"This is not good.  The last time I was in this position Beyonce was on top of me."
"Then I kicked her out of the room when I was done... hehehehe"
"OhfuckohfuckohFUCK I'm going so fast that I'm definitely going to need these fences to save me!"
"Or maybe I'll just slowly come to a stop and take a deep breath with my tongue out.  #Jordan."
Video:

Thanks to Devon for the video!  Take notes folks, this is why you do leg day.  Because when you're racing up in Canada, this far north of the wall... you shall take no crowns and win no glory.  You shall live and die on your course.  You are the skier in the darkness.  You are the watcher of the crashes.  You are the athlete in the starthouse that guards the Tim Horton's.  You pledge your life and honor to the FIS race, for this night and all nights to come.  That's a Game of Thrones joke.  April 6.  I get it I get it.  Videos to theamericanmob@gmail.com.  Slalom Ace out.

UPDATE:  The "Oh Boy" and "Oh Fuck" in this video could not be more Canadian.

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