Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Taylor Swift Tuesday

Belated Tuesday, I suppose.  Trouble, trouble, trouble...

Slalom Ace out.

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

A Love To Crash For

Simply beautiful edit from Tyler Wallach and the USA Ski Cross crew.  If there's anything I'm excited about this season, it's the proliferation of Ski Cross crashes headed my way.

Always be sendin', Slalom Ace out.

East Coast

East Coast AF rn

Not All Heroes Wear Capes

But Christof Innerhofer does.  From today's downhill at Santa Caterina, Italy.  Top speed at the split with no goggles and a gate wrapped around his head.  Wow.  I wonder if his eyes watered at all?

Can I get an encore, do you want more?
He finished fourth overall.  Fourth.  How do you let that happen to you if you finish in 5th place.  "Yeah I coulda gone faster if I hit the wax."  Innerhofer carried a parachute down the hill with him!  Slalom Ace out.

Friday, December 25, 2015

12 Days of Christmas

On the twelfth day of Christmas
Slalom Tokyo gave to me:
Twelve B-Nets bending
Eleven crashers crashing
Ten Hirschers knifing
Nine Bodes chilling
Eight Marker bindings
Seven Shiffrins shiffing
Six Henriks slaying
Five World Cup Wins
Four new ligaments
Three Kitzbuhels
Two Lara Guts
A chick falling out of her skis!

Slalom Ace out.

Thursday, December 24, 2015

What Else Can You Do

Mad River Glen taking the bad news in good stride... I bet Stratton would try to hold a FIS race on this!

Slalom Ace out.

Twister Impersonation

Twister was submitted for patent by Charles F. Foley and Neil Rabens in 1966, and became a success when Eva Gabor played it with Johnny Carson on television's The Tonight Show on May 3, 1966. However, in its success, Twister was also controversial. The company that produced the game, Milton Bradley, was accused by its competitors of selling "sex in a box". That accusation was probably because Twister was the first popular American game to use human bodies as playing pieces.

Left hand... blue dot!  Right foot... red dot!
Slalom Ace out.

Wednesday, December 23, 2015


I meant to have my front buckle on three!  Not two!

Thanks to Kate for the photo!  Slalom Ace out.

One More Drone Video

Higher quality footage than yesterday.  This is still kinda surreal to me.  Sounds like FIS laid the hammer down on drones pretty quickly.  Probably a good idea... in a speed race this could have been so bad.

And I suppose we can show the champ!  Kristoffersen is very fun to watch.

Slalom Ace out.

Wet Wipe Wednesday

I would hate on this guy, but I've been in this position so many times.  Have some Chipotle before a big meeting... feel a little sleepy after filling that stomach up with meat... have a coffee to wake you up... and before you know it, you're in this exact same situation.  There but for the grace of God go I.

Thanks to Alex for the photo!  Slalom Ace out.

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Um, So Hirscher Just Got Drone Bombed?

A video posted by Slalom Tokyo Drift (@slalomtokyodrift) on

Skifi UK

When life gives you lemons...

Slalom Ace out.

World Cup Parallel GS

Pretty cool event last night.  Rumor has it the blue course was running a little faster.. but what are you gonna do!  Norway came out on top, which they've been doing a lot of recently!

Full vid:

Happy Vikings
Hirscher crash:

Slippery little snake!
I generally think these events are pretty cool.  The format needs to be worked out a bit, obviously it's not that challenging... but it definitely gets the people going!  Slalom Ace out.

Ricardo Jas

AKA: "Onelegety".  This guy fucking shreds.  Pretty sure he could flip it at a Carnival, not ruling out top 10.  Definitely would beat some BC kids.  That being said... it's harder to keep going after straddling with only one leg.  Marcel Hirscher doesn't have that problem!  From ParaSkiNL in Kuhtai.

Slalom Ace out.

Monday, December 21, 2015

Jumpman Edits Never Get Old

A video posted by Slalom Tokyo Drift (@slalomtokyodrift) on

Monday Morning In A Nutshell

Believe it or not, I think this is the exact same stance I had this morning when my alarm went off.  In this analogy, the ski three feet in the air is my alarm, and I'm looking at it with the exact same amount of disgust.

Slalom Ace out.

Of All The Tokyo Drifters...

Spencer, you're the Tokyo Driftiest.  This could not be more textbook Slalom Tokyo Drift.  Slalom with ruts the size of Normandy shell blasts, east coast early season, late bib number, objectively weak legs... going bad, to worse... the tuck at the end!  The tuck!  The tuck!

"Everything is awesomeeeeeeeee!"
Slalom Ace out.

Sunday, December 20, 2015

Tommy Ford, Arc City Mayor

Congrats to Tommy Ford, who SHREDDED second run at Alta Badia.  Tommy took advantage of the clean snow to win the run by .80, and moved from 30th to 12th on the day!  Arc City Mayor status, indeed.

Slalom Ace out.

Little Slip. Big Tumble.

This is just your classic Slalom Tokyo Drift "Bad To Worse" style crash.  You kidding me?  I love it.  I love it.

Slalom Ace out.

Snow Snake Sunday

From Aspen... the snow snake is a deadly, sneaky, elusive creature.  Ruby found it.

Slalom Ace out.

Saturday, December 19, 2015

When you get that two-thirty feeling mid course, your run wasn't going that well to begin with, and the only real solution is to nap it out like a goddamn bawse.

Slalom Ace out.

Congrats To Bryce Bennett!

Guy got his first World Cup Top 10 today... went from 57th to 6th!

Bryce was once shouted out in an American Mob song, believe it or not.  Many moons ago.  Slalom Ace out.

Slopestyle Training

Trent wrote it up better than I ever could... when you're racing at 9 but have slopestyle training at 10!

And also, gotta love the coach shouting out.  He knows his Slalom Tokyo Drift history!  Don't get much better than Liam Mulhern:

Though many have tried...

Slalom Ace out.

Friday, December 18, 2015

Happy Weekend Everyone!

May the starts of your weekends be better than it was for these guys.  Roll damn tide.

Slalom Ace out.

Failure To Launch Friday

Madi, I haven't seen anyone go that head over heels since Matthew McConaughey met SJP in Failure To Launch, a film focused on a 35-year-old man who lives in the home of his parents and shows no interest in leaving the comfortable life his parents, especially his mother, have made for him there.

Any chance I get to toss in a McConaughey relation... I take it.  Slalom Ace out.


Love being the coach in that situation... not that much constructive criticism you can give.  "Well bud, you looked great!  And then you were upside down missing a ski!  And that wasn't so great."  Gotta say, I've been LOVING the skiercross support this winter!  But I still need more #telemarktuesday.

Slalom Ace out.

Thursday, December 17, 2015

That's Not Where I Meant To Go Thursday

When you want to ski on the well lit trail with the light and course, but Marker Bindings wants to take you onto a trail full of dark corners for doing dark deeds.

Alternate caption is the Robert Frost edition.  Slalom Ace out.

When You Decide...

When you decide that ski racing isn't the sport for you, you've always hated it, you want to be a cross country runner, and the best time to start is now!  McGill ski team, Mount St. Anne.

Slalom Ace out.

Slalom Is Fun

Nothing like skiing a fresh slalom course with sharp skis and just feeling like the king of the world... I bet that's what Megan wishes she were doing right now:

Slalom Ace out.

Wednesday, December 16, 2015




Slalom Ace out.

Dab to Fail

Kind of reminds me of Cam Newton winning the NFC title game only to run into Bill Belichick's defense in the Super Bowl.  Dab.  To.  Fail.

Slalom Ace out.

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Just Sneaking In Toepiece Tuesday

Not midnight on the east coast yet!  So many Marker binding crashes... so little time.  Peter Fordyce at a USSA race at Sunday River.  And THIS is why you keep rolling video!  Dammit people!

Slalom Ace out!

Fanara Hates Beaver Creek

But even more awkward than this crash?  The juxtaposition between the Beaver Creek banner and the Korbel banner.  Pretty sure Korbel is twist-off.  And they might make peach flavor.  I think Tammi-Lynn gets Korbel when she wants to celebrate.

Never forget:

At least it's better than Andre.  Slalom Ace out.

Toepiece Tuesday

When you want to ski GS, but your Markers want you to ski slalom... just another day on the mean slopes.

Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

Crystal Balls

From Mikaela on Crystal Balls

All evidence to the contrary:

Proof of crystal ball established.  Slalom Ace out.

Monday, December 14, 2015

Razzoli Bad Luck

I think my man Daniel Powter said it best: "You had a bad day, you're taking one down, you sing a sad song just to turn it around."

But Fanara... worse luck...

And THAT'S why you get forward over rolls.  Slalom Ace out.

Maniac Laughter Monday

Whoever's coach this guy is... he needs a new one.  Like.  What?  KAK KAK KAK KAK!!!

Slalom Ace out.

Rough Start To The Week

Mondays, am I right?

Friday, December 11, 2015

Frontflip Friday

Hey Gray,  I haven't seen anyone go that head over heels since PM Hugh Grant met Natalie at 10 Downing Street!


Slalom Ace out.

Thursday, December 10, 2015

If Inanimate Objects Had Thoughts And Feelings

"What a cocktease!" -- That blue fence, probably.

Slalom Ace out.

The Thrill of Victory...

And the agony of defeat... Skiercross, there can only be one!

Slalom Ace out.

I Hate To Say It

But that's what you get for not pole planting.


Slalom Ace out.

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Wasted Wednesday

"Did he just straddle that?  ... ooooooooooooo"  Karma's a bitch, we know Blair Waldorf is too.  From the mean streets of Los Santos, I bring you Sean Pomerantz, wasted.

Slalom Ace out!

Tying Shoelaces Together

The 2015 equivalent to tying shoelaces together... superglueing skiercross racers together!  How anyone thinks this sport is safe... I couldn't tell you.

Slalom Ace out.


*When you hear career services is offering unpaid finance internships* OUTTA MY WAY

I'm Ripping!

Well, that was a good use of time and money.  Audio very required.  And let this be a lesson to every coach out there... when the crash stars, keep rolling footage, dammit.

Slalom Ace out.

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Time To Dab

Was it great?  No.  But a promise is a promise.  Time to dab on 'em.

Basically the same thing, right?
Thanks to Trevor for the dab.  Slalom Ace out.

Candide Thovex Is The Best

Candide's newest -- no news if this is sponsored by Schick yet.

Some of my favorite videos to watch:

Slalom Ace out.

Interval Timing is for CHUMPS

"I hope I don't run out of time, could someone call a referee?"

Slalom Ace out.

Too Turnt Tuesday Proctor Edition

When coach tells you he did a good job putting in the B-Net, but you have to test for yourself.  Angie Duke from a Proctor night slalom last year!

Photo Cred to Erika!  Slalom Ace out.

Monday, December 7, 2015

Markus Duerager Monday

Any time your ski goes over FOUR rows of B-Net... you're gonna be on the drift.  Markus Duerager broke his hand and leg, but we know he will be back stronger and faster next year!

Slalom Ace out.

Monday Morning Back To Work

"Woah, Chloe... that's really round" pretty sure that's the least of her issues right now.... Chloe with your perfect Monday morning metaphor.

Crashes to, Slalom Ace out.

Sunday, December 6, 2015

Ted Ligety Gets The Tyson Treatment

Poor Ted.  Getting the full Mike Tyson treatment.


Slalom Ace out.

Go Your Own Way

When you're trying to be the arc city mayor but then your outside ski decides it's a strong independent ski that don't need no man.

Slalom Ace out.

Straight And Late Sunday

Ooooooh Bessie.  You know when you see something no one else does during inspection, you execute on it during your run, and get the W?  This is not one of these times.

Slalom Ace out.

Friday, December 4, 2015

First Person Friday

Jesus Kris Mahler!  Put your turn signals on before making a three lane change!

Slalom Ace out.


A video posted by Slalom Tokyo Drift (@slalomtokyodrift) on

Chitown chitown Michael Jordan just said text me (WOO!)

Slalom Ace out.

Thursday, December 3, 2015

No Thanks!

I'm just gonna hang out here and wait for this all to blow over -- see you by the weekend I hope.

Slalom Ace out.

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Well, Actually...

"Hey Coach!  How'd my run look before my fall?"  Well, actually...

Slalom Ace out.

Bad Boy Line

I've said it before, and I'll say it again.  If you're not a bad boy, don't ski the bad boy line.

Slalom Ace out.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Twirlybird Tuesday

When you're trying to be the arc city mayor but then you think WWJDD (what would Jason Derulo do) and the answer is obviously #twirlybirdtuesday.

Ramundberget is one of my favorite words to say.  Apparently it's in Sweden, but close to the Norwegian border.  Who knew?  Any way you slice it... very impressive recovery from Joachim!

Slalom Ace out.

Belated Move Bitch Monday

Audio highly recommended.  Emma Kearing isn't content to DNF... she's gotta take some coaches down with her!

Cue the music:

Slalom Ace out.

Long Year for Marker Bindings

Got the club going up... on a Tuesday!  But not just any Tuesday... TOEPIECE TUESDAY!

Slalom Ace out.

Monday, November 30, 2015

Sunday, November 29, 2015

Slip Sliding Away Sunday

Yard sale!  Yard sale!  All things must go!  Sliding into your DMs like...

Happy Sunday everyone.  Slalom Ace out.

Good Save Sunday

From the mean streets of Mt. Bachelor in Oregon... When bae asks where you were last night and you just barely come up with a great excuse.

Slalom Ace out.

Friday, November 27, 2015

Solid Commentary Crash

This is a 3 out of 10 crash, but 10 out of 10 commentary #firedupfriday #freakinweekend *audio recommended*

"Even at the roll..  AUUGHGGGH what happened!"

Thanks to Evan for the crash.  Videos to  Slalom Ace out.

Fast Forward Friday

Really cool movie, the French ski team feat. Julian Lizerouz comes in around 2:30.

He starts his segment off with a frontflip right out of the gate... where have we seen that move before?  Oh yeah.

Figure Skating Friday

When you wanna be a figure skater but your parents make you ski race.  Tara Lipinski over here.  The crowd's going nuts.  The Russian judge gives you a 10!

Slalom Ace out.

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Torn Everything Tuesday

Rumor has it they are still picking up the ligaments from that fateful day.

Trailblazer Tuesday

"Color between the lines", they said. "Ski around the gates", they said. Well kids, originality goes beyond social norms. And today, I'm skiing off pistΓ©

"Yeah, but I will have a degree. And you'll be servin' my kids fries at a drive-thru on our way to a skiing trip."

That may be, but at least I won't be unoriginal.

Slalom Ace out.

Too Literal Tuesday

When you get that super original course report "get forward, pressure the outside ski" ...and you take coach too seriously #TooLiteralTuesday #ToePressureTuesday.

Slalom Ace out.

Monday, November 23, 2015

Forgetting The Important Stuff

Hands up?  Check.
Look ahead?  Check.
Ankle flexion?  Check.
Cross block... well... it must be Monday again.

Thanks to Sam for the pic.  Slalom Ace out.

Awkward Monday Morning Crashes

These crashes are identical, and a great metaphor for life on this slow November Monday.  Maybe you're walking into your econ final that you're completely unprepared for.  Maybe you're training on injected snow with last year's trainers that are dull as driving through Nebraska.  No matter what you're dealing with, these guys are on your wavelength.  And they get it too.

Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

Saturday, November 21, 2015

Friday, November 20, 2015

Death To Red Gates

When you're ripping cheddar turns but then all of a sudden you remember a red slalom gate killed your dog and you're a ninja so it's ‪#‎FLYGANDEFREDAG‬ ‪#‎deathtoredgates‬ ‪#‎downgoesrousey‬

Thanks to Fabian for the vid!  Slalom Ace out.

Thursday, November 19, 2015

If You Can't Stand The Heat

Then get out of the kitchen:

And if you're not a bad boy, then don't ski the bad boy line.  Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

These Never Get Old Thursday

Our latest victim... Mallorie Miller, in the start gate, Loveland.  Can't nail the undergate at the top of the pitch without nailing the start.

Slalom Ace out.

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Liisa Piirainen Yard Sale

Yard sale!  Yard sale!  All things must go!  Get your skis, get your helmet, get your ligaments!  From the frosty slopes of Hintertuxer, Liisa Piirainen getting tossed like a salad at Sweetgreen.

And of course... just like Dave Chappelle... Liisa knows that everything is better in slow motion!

Slalom Ace out.

Where's Waldo Wednesday

Where'd he go!

Slalom Ace out.

Six Lane Swerve in Norway

Like... what?  This could have been so much worse.  Count how many courses our friend @trymmski goes through here.  Including his own, I count six.

Let's throw the red challenge flag and get a video review.

"Okay, I hipped out, but I can save this"
"Usually I look uphill before merging, guess that'll have to wait"
"It looks like there's a berm coming up, good thing I have my twintips"
"I wonder if I should have played a different sport..."
"Maybe basketball... yeah, basketball seems fun"
*No more braincells* *Opening chord of "Hello" plays*
Remember folks, ruts kill.  This blog was a 10 out of 10, by the way.  Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Arcing for the Coach

"I'm the mayor of arc city, shredding like I'm Ted, alright, here comes my coach, time to snap off some turns for video aaaaand..."

U r ded.  Slalom Ace out.

Nellie Talbot Faceplant Crash

Sometimes we all get a little lost on the #roadtopyeongchang...

Taylor Swift Tuesday/Separation Anxiety

"All you had to do was STAY": Tucker Marshall, to the base of his ski.  This is just plain unfortunate.  Really not much you can do about a situation like this.  Good luck with your season Tucker.  Hopefully the base of your ski trying to run away from you isn't a bad omen, right?

Photo of the aftermath:
Nothing a little P-Tex won't fix, right?
This is also substantial because I think it gives Tucker a lifetime achievement award from the drift.

Tucker, thanks for the videos!  Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

Monday, November 16, 2015

When You Don't Nail Inspection

T-Coop showing us that pinching the fifth super-g gate is almost never a good idea.  I'm almost positive that wasn't the line your coach recommended through there.  But at least you CRUSH the knuck drag in that transition bruh!

Thanks to Hunter for the crash!  Slalom Ace out.

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Sparks Fly

Taylor Swift might see sparks fly every time you smile.. but I see sparks fly whenever you ski slalom in November with no snow.  From Greg and Team Orsatus.  Free stone grinds!

Send crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

Straddle Sunday from Stubai

Hunter Kern taking the bad boy line in Stubai.  "Oh buddy... how'd that feel on the ball sack?"

But of course, this isn't better than the G.O.A.T.

Thanks to Hunter for the crash... good luck with your testicles!  Videos to  Slalom Ace out.

Friday, November 13, 2015

Happy Friday Everyone

Woo!  Happy Friday!  But just a reminder to you all, inspect the finish, every single time.  Otherwise you'll end up like this guy... essentially taking himself out of the weekend before it even starts.

Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

Aspen Flygande Fredag

Jake Perkins going BIG at Aspen J2 Nationals many moons ago (and a few snows as well!)

Take me to the chorus!

Thanks to Hailey for the crash.  Vids to  Slalom Ace out.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

That Was Awkward

Riley... that's the most awkward crash I've ever seen.  Get it together for me one time please?  A newborn deer looks at this and says now THOSE are shaky legs.  I deserve better than this.  And yet, I'm proud of you.  Well done.

Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Will Smith Wednesday

When you're arcing but then it's Miami and you're Will Smith but then Ryan Tannehill throws another interception and then you're back to reality as an Alaskan skier wearing a Dolphins jersey skiing in Colorado in November.  Miami, the bass and the sunset low.

Thanks to Kieffer for the vid!  Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

Who Knows a Good Dentist?

So... who's excited for the new season, am I right guys?  This is not good, not good at all.  Silvia, Christmas is soon but not soon enough, I know you're asking for some new teeth and maybe some fresh brain cells after that brutal interaction with the base of a blue gate.  You got smurfed!

Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Banger Chile Crash Featuring Snowsnake

Maia Papaya getting EATEN ALIVE by the Southern Snowsnakes.  Like... I'm talking get the tourniquets, suck the venom out, do all that stuff required to stay alive.  Which is perfect, because if there's anything Chile is known for, it's their prompt attention and educated medical staffs.  Also (audio) you know anytime the coach calls for a "stop start" and you're only a third of the way done with your crash, it's gonna be good.

You've been... THUNDERSTRUCK/snakebit
That left ski has the right idea
Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

Toepiece Tuesday Russia Edition

When you draw bib 4, your pole plant is on fleek... And the world falls away beneath your feet.

#ToepieceTuesday #ToTheCoachThatCheckedMyDINsScrewYouTuesday
Slalom Ace out.

Last Will and Testament Tuesday -- Saas Fee

Poor Lars Kuonen... pushes out of the start gate thinking he's on top of the world, and then... WHAMMY.  Lars, they'll be picking up your teeth for hours my friend.  Saas Fee's finest.

Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

Monday, November 9, 2015

Make It Go Away Monday

Oh... why did I ever get out of bed today.  If I cover my eyes maybe it will all go away.  Absolutely brutal luck on the mean slopes of Stubai for Matt.  He just plain and simple deserves better.

By far the sneakiest part about this crash is that there's a lesson going on in the back.  "And if you'll turn around, you'll see a poor boy with his life flashing in front of his eyes!  Keep an eye on where his ligaments land!"
Oh look!  A penny!
Very admirable staying up at this point.
"I should have been a chess player"
Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

For our GTA Fans Out There...

Manu Amigo going head over heels... this is truly my favorite Monday pick me up.  Although I'm starting to worry these are staged.  Whatever, over it.  Location: Hintertux Gletscher.

Thanks to Marta for the crash!  Send everything to  Slalom Ace out.

Sunday, November 8, 2015

When the Sunday Scaries Hit

When you're watching football on TV and everything is awesome and all of a sudden you look outside and it's dark and you're tired but you still can't ski because it's November and you shed a single tear and you have a lot of work to and you were gonna work out but you didn't and your fantasy team is losing because Adrian Peterson eats shrimp even though he has a shrimp allergy.  Did I miss anything?

Thanks to Timon for the crash.  No word if Pumbaa was videoing at this time, but I assume yes.  Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

AJ Ginnis Gets Eaten Alive

Our boy AJ Ginnis was last spotted in the lodge googling "Snow Snake Antidote"... AJ, you alive bro?  PS, I've watched this video several times and I still can't really figure out what's going on.

Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

Friday, November 6, 2015

Front Flip Friday

Connor Krell having a short day on the slopes, but truth be told, the craziest part of this is how little his coach reacts to this.  Like... is that normal to you?  All I see here is a stance so wide you could drive a truck through it.

Haven't seen anyone go that head over heels since Bugs met Lola in Space Jam!  Also -- listen to the audio at the end.  Does she say, "I touch myself in the course a lot" or am I completely making that up?

Good one!
Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

Richard's Short Day

One gate, two gate, red gate, blue gate, #FLYGANDEFREDAG


Our boy Richard has a very short day on the slopes.  Better luck next time my backseat riding amigo!  Snake it 'til you make it!  Risk it for the biscuit!  Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

John Wayne Wednesday

Unreal.  Absolutely unreal.  Thanks to Greg for this phenomenal production.

Crashes and falls to  Slalom Ace Out.

Sunday, November 1, 2015

Hello From The Other Side

When you hear the chorus of Adele's new song for the first time...

Lukas Sendlhofer getting a little too sendy for his own good.  That's just plain and simple what we love to see.  Crashes to!  Slalom Ace out.

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Piztal Flips for Fun Crash

I haven't seen anyone go this head over heels since Joaquin Pheonix met his operating system (expertly voiced by Scarlett Johansson, whose acting ability transcends her physical attractiveness) in the 2013 American romantic science fiction comedy-drama, "Her".

Thanks to Santeri for the crash!  Videos and pics to  Slalom Ace out.

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Where Am I Going Wednesday

Gabrielle getting all sorts of confused on the mean glacier streets.  She called it Monday struggles... I call it #whereamigoingwednesday

Cue the music!

Videos and crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

Too Tall Tuesday

Sometimes in life, you gotta go through transitions... whether it be switching from the 60 foot basepaths of Little League to the 90 foot Babe Ruth ones, or switching from 178s with 18m radius to 195s with 35m, we all have our own struggles.  Here @nagomark is getting hit like a sack of bricks by the cold realities.  This is the skiing equivalent of a "before" Proactiv photo.

Thanks to @herasllorente and @telesqui for the video!  Crashes and more to  Slalom Ace out.

Saturday, August 29, 2015

Patrick Kenney Double Dipping

Patrick Kenney faces the cold reality of life on the slopes:

Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

Sunday, August 9, 2015

Team Germany Training for Skiercross

Sums up my weekend pretty well.

Vids to  Slalom Ace out.

Thursday, August 6, 2015

Charlie Harrison Doesn't Bail

Sometimes, when life gives you lemons, you say, "Fuck the lemons" and bail.

Very relevant:

Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

Monday, August 3, 2015

Sendy in the Southern Hemisphere

Kay Holscher making friends with the locals in Chillan, Chile.  Peligroso!  Peligroso!

Summer videos and pics to  I'm sunburnt AF.  Slalom Ace out.

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Our New Winter Intern

Hi all,

Thanks so much for everyone who sent in an application!  Truth be told, I didn't think anyone would apply, so I was a little overwhelmed actually dealing with it.  So that was something new.  In the end, we had eighteen applications, but one stood out from the rest.  I'd like to introduce to you... Hot Intern Sam!
Thinking of sick captions
Kid wouldn't know what a flip looked like if it bit him.
Sam can make the good girls bad for the weekend like nobody's business.  He hit triple digits squatting (not metric) and is just starting to win the fight against puberty.  He's going to be a great addition to the STD team.  Additionally, I'd like to share the best pieces from all the applications.  First, here's a bunch of pictures of Julia and Lindsey:

Yeah, that seems about right.  Now, onto the best answers:

Kjetil or Aksel?  Why? (Two sentences max)
  • Jansrud all day.. dudes got sweet flow, he's built like a rock and he looks like bear.
  • Aksel because he is a legend. And his hair is nice.
  • I prefer Aksel because I like the fact that he let his crash and injury at Beaver Creek force him to push himself even harder to excel instead of shying away
  • I prefer good decisions over bad decisions because if you make a bad decision it's most likely going to end up bad so at least if you make a good decision it's more likely to end up good and if not... at least you had good intentions. 
Do you prefer good decisions or bad decisions?
  • Trick question getting sendy for the boys is always a good descision
  • I prefer to make decisions regardless of their inherent quality
  • I like to make good decisions, but it turns out that I make bad ones. 
How would you deal with the two random Czech girls that always DM me dimly lit pictures of them smoking cigarettes?
  • Invite them to the promise land
  • We call the cops upon the party they are at. Everyone would be forced to leave while we throw a banger on the same night.. boom, everyone from that party comes our party including the czech girls, we take them upstairs, then we go to work.
  • There are really 2 ways to go about this:
    • 1. You could block them.
    • 2. If you're into that kinda stuff, let it happen and see where it goes, at least they're not sending videos of videos, right?
  • Send them back pictures of those people that have holes in their throat because they smoked too much then caption it "Can I get a light?"
  • I would deal with the Czech girls either by ignoring them, blocking them or telling them something around the lines of smoking doesn't help skiing, or smoking doesn't have anything to do with skiing, or smoking is bad for your soul.
  • I would take a very specific approach to dealing with the Czech girls who inbox you pictures of them smoking lit cigarettes. Fortunately they are still in the lit cigarette phase and have not gone onto eating the cigarettes straight out of the pack. The fist thing I would do is befriend them so that they trust me. They would believe that I am their friend. Eventually I would get invited over to their home in Prague or some other Czech city. While I am at their home, I would slowly replace all of their family pictures in their home to saved pictures of them smoking the cigarettes. I would do this slowly at first, as to not attract suspicion, then all at once before I leave so they can't beat me up for getting them in trouble. Finally, I would sell the cigarettes that I steal from their home, as there are bound to be many there and they would not notice any missing. That way we would both be very rich and we could buy out marker bindings and destroy them forever as they are an abomination. 
What is your favorite instagram filter?
  • Juno
  • Normal filter cause I'm not a pussy
  • Lark because it brings out the color of snow
  • My favorite instagram filter is #nofilter #hashtagblessed
  • I don't really use instagram filters because I think they're stupid. So i don't have a favourite. But I have a least favourite and that's all of them.
  • Either Willow or Slumber
  • Juno
Again, thank you to everyone that applied.  I heard is taking applications, if you're looking for something with a little less exposure, maybe you can work your way up to the big leagues!  We've got great plans for the upcoming season.  Congratulations, Sam.  Slalom Ace out.