Monday, November 30, 2015

Sunday, November 29, 2015

Slip Sliding Away Sunday

Yard sale!  Yard sale!  All things must go!  Sliding into your DMs like...

Happy Sunday everyone.  Slalom Ace out.

Good Save Sunday

From the mean streets of Mt. Bachelor in Oregon... When bae asks where you were last night and you just barely come up with a great excuse.

Slalom Ace out.

Friday, November 27, 2015

Solid Commentary Crash

This is a 3 out of 10 crash, but 10 out of 10 commentary #firedupfriday #freakinweekend *audio recommended*

"Even at the roll..  AUUGHGGGH what happened!"

Thanks to Evan for the crash.  Videos to  Slalom Ace out.

Fast Forward Friday

Really cool movie, the French ski team feat. Julian Lizerouz comes in around 2:30.

He starts his segment off with a frontflip right out of the gate... where have we seen that move before?  Oh yeah.

Figure Skating Friday

When you wanna be a figure skater but your parents make you ski race.  Tara Lipinski over here.  The crowd's going nuts.  The Russian judge gives you a 10!

Slalom Ace out.

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Torn Everything Tuesday

Rumor has it they are still picking up the ligaments from that fateful day.

Trailblazer Tuesday

"Color between the lines", they said. "Ski around the gates", they said. Well kids, originality goes beyond social norms. And today, I'm skiing off pisté

"Yeah, but I will have a degree. And you'll be servin' my kids fries at a drive-thru on our way to a skiing trip."

That may be, but at least I won't be unoriginal.

Slalom Ace out.

Too Literal Tuesday

When you get that super original course report "get forward, pressure the outside ski" ...and you take coach too seriously #TooLiteralTuesday #ToePressureTuesday.

Slalom Ace out.

Monday, November 23, 2015

Forgetting The Important Stuff

Hands up?  Check.
Look ahead?  Check.
Ankle flexion?  Check.
Cross block... well... it must be Monday again.

Thanks to Sam for the pic.  Slalom Ace out.

Awkward Monday Morning Crashes

These crashes are identical, and a great metaphor for life on this slow November Monday.  Maybe you're walking into your econ final that you're completely unprepared for.  Maybe you're training on injected snow with last year's trainers that are dull as driving through Nebraska.  No matter what you're dealing with, these guys are on your wavelength.  And they get it too.

Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

Saturday, November 21, 2015

Friday, November 20, 2015

Death To Red Gates

When you're ripping cheddar turns but then all of a sudden you remember a red slalom gate killed your dog and you're a ninja so it's ‪#‎FLYGANDEFREDAG‬ ‪#‎deathtoredgates‬ ‪#‎downgoesrousey‬

Thanks to Fabian for the vid!  Slalom Ace out.

Thursday, November 19, 2015

If You Can't Stand The Heat

Then get out of the kitchen:

And if you're not a bad boy, then don't ski the bad boy line.  Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

These Never Get Old Thursday

Our latest victim... Mallorie Miller, in the start gate, Loveland.  Can't nail the undergate at the top of the pitch without nailing the start.

Slalom Ace out.

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Liisa Piirainen Yard Sale

Yard sale!  Yard sale!  All things must go!  Get your skis, get your helmet, get your ligaments!  From the frosty slopes of Hintertuxer, Liisa Piirainen getting tossed like a salad at Sweetgreen.

And of course... just like Dave Chappelle... Liisa knows that everything is better in slow motion!

Slalom Ace out.

Where's Waldo Wednesday

Where'd he go!

Slalom Ace out.

Six Lane Swerve in Norway

Like... what?  This could have been so much worse.  Count how many courses our friend @trymmski goes through here.  Including his own, I count six.

Let's throw the red challenge flag and get a video review.

"Okay, I hipped out, but I can save this"
"Usually I look uphill before merging, guess that'll have to wait"
"It looks like there's a berm coming up, good thing I have my twintips"
"I wonder if I should have played a different sport..."
"Maybe basketball... yeah, basketball seems fun"
*No more braincells* *Opening chord of "Hello" plays*
Remember folks, ruts kill.  This blog was a 10 out of 10, by the way.  Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Arcing for the Coach

"I'm the mayor of arc city, shredding like I'm Ted, alright, here comes my coach, time to snap off some turns for video aaaaand..."

U r ded.  Slalom Ace out.

Nellie Talbot Faceplant Crash

Sometimes we all get a little lost on the #roadtopyeongchang...

Taylor Swift Tuesday/Separation Anxiety

"All you had to do was STAY": Tucker Marshall, to the base of his ski.  This is just plain unfortunate.  Really not much you can do about a situation like this.  Good luck with your season Tucker.  Hopefully the base of your ski trying to run away from you isn't a bad omen, right?

Photo of the aftermath:
Nothing a little P-Tex won't fix, right?
This is also substantial because I think it gives Tucker a lifetime achievement award from the drift.

Tucker, thanks for the videos!  Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

Monday, November 16, 2015

When You Don't Nail Inspection

T-Coop showing us that pinching the fifth super-g gate is almost never a good idea.  I'm almost positive that wasn't the line your coach recommended through there.  But at least you CRUSH the knuck drag in that transition bruh!

Thanks to Hunter for the crash!  Slalom Ace out.

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Sparks Fly

Taylor Swift might see sparks fly every time you smile.. but I see sparks fly whenever you ski slalom in November with no snow.  From Greg and Team Orsatus.  Free stone grinds!

Send crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

Straddle Sunday from Stubai

Hunter Kern taking the bad boy line in Stubai.  "Oh buddy... how'd that feel on the ball sack?"

But of course, this isn't better than the G.O.A.T.

Thanks to Hunter for the crash... good luck with your testicles!  Videos to  Slalom Ace out.

Friday, November 13, 2015

Happy Friday Everyone

Woo!  Happy Friday!  But just a reminder to you all, inspect the finish, every single time.  Otherwise you'll end up like this guy... essentially taking himself out of the weekend before it even starts.

Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

Aspen Flygande Fredag

Jake Perkins going BIG at Aspen J2 Nationals many moons ago (and a few snows as well!)

Take me to the chorus!

Thanks to Hailey for the crash.  Vids to  Slalom Ace out.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

That Was Awkward

Riley... that's the most awkward crash I've ever seen.  Get it together for me one time please?  A newborn deer looks at this and says now THOSE are shaky legs.  I deserve better than this.  And yet, I'm proud of you.  Well done.

Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Will Smith Wednesday

When you're arcing but then it's Miami and you're Will Smith but then Ryan Tannehill throws another interception and then you're back to reality as an Alaskan skier wearing a Dolphins jersey skiing in Colorado in November.  Miami, the bass and the sunset low.

Thanks to Kieffer for the vid!  Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

Who Knows a Good Dentist?

So... who's excited for the new season, am I right guys?  This is not good, not good at all.  Silvia, Christmas is soon but not soon enough, I know you're asking for some new teeth and maybe some fresh brain cells after that brutal interaction with the base of a blue gate.  You got smurfed!

Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Banger Chile Crash Featuring Snowsnake

Maia Papaya getting EATEN ALIVE by the Southern Snowsnakes.  Like... I'm talking get the tourniquets, suck the venom out, do all that stuff required to stay alive.  Which is perfect, because if there's anything Chile is known for, it's their prompt attention and educated medical staffs.  Also (audio) you know anytime the coach calls for a "stop start" and you're only a third of the way done with your crash, it's gonna be good.

You've been... THUNDERSTRUCK/snakebit
That left ski has the right idea
Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

Toepiece Tuesday Russia Edition

When you draw bib 4, your pole plant is on fleek... And the world falls away beneath your feet.

#ToepieceTuesday #ToTheCoachThatCheckedMyDINsScrewYouTuesday
Slalom Ace out.

Last Will and Testament Tuesday -- Saas Fee

Poor Lars Kuonen... pushes out of the start gate thinking he's on top of the world, and then... WHAMMY.  Lars, they'll be picking up your teeth for hours my friend.  Saas Fee's finest.

Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

Monday, November 9, 2015

Make It Go Away Monday

Oh... why did I ever get out of bed today.  If I cover my eyes maybe it will all go away.  Absolutely brutal luck on the mean slopes of Stubai for Matt.  He just plain and simple deserves better.

By far the sneakiest part about this crash is that there's a lesson going on in the back.  "And if you'll turn around, you'll see a poor boy with his life flashing in front of his eyes!  Keep an eye on where his ligaments land!"
Oh look!  A penny!
Very admirable staying up at this point.
"I should have been a chess player"
Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

For our GTA Fans Out There...

Manu Amigo going head over heels... this is truly my favorite Monday pick me up.  Although I'm starting to worry these are staged.  Whatever, over it.  Location: Hintertux Gletscher.

Thanks to Marta for the crash!  Send everything to  Slalom Ace out.

Sunday, November 8, 2015

When the Sunday Scaries Hit

When you're watching football on TV and everything is awesome and all of a sudden you look outside and it's dark and you're tired but you still can't ski because it's November and you shed a single tear and you have a lot of work to and you were gonna work out but you didn't and your fantasy team is losing because Adrian Peterson eats shrimp even though he has a shrimp allergy.  Did I miss anything?

Thanks to Timon for the crash.  No word if Pumbaa was videoing at this time, but I assume yes.  Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

AJ Ginnis Gets Eaten Alive

Our boy AJ Ginnis was last spotted in the lodge googling "Snow Snake Antidote"... AJ, you alive bro?  PS, I've watched this video several times and I still can't really figure out what's going on.

Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

Friday, November 6, 2015

Front Flip Friday

Connor Krell having a short day on the slopes, but truth be told, the craziest part of this is how little his coach reacts to this.  Like... is that normal to you?  All I see here is a stance so wide you could drive a truck through it.

Haven't seen anyone go that head over heels since Bugs met Lola in Space Jam!  Also -- listen to the audio at the end.  Does she say, "I touch myself in the course a lot" or am I completely making that up?

Good one!
Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

Richard's Short Day

One gate, two gate, red gate, blue gate, #FLYGANDEFREDAG


Our boy Richard has a very short day on the slopes.  Better luck next time my backseat riding amigo!  Snake it 'til you make it!  Risk it for the biscuit!  Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

John Wayne Wednesday

Unreal.  Absolutely unreal.  Thanks to Greg for this phenomenal production.

Crashes and falls to  Slalom Ace Out.

Sunday, November 1, 2015

Hello From The Other Side

When you hear the chorus of Adele's new song for the first time...

Lukas Sendlhofer getting a little too sendy for his own good.  That's just plain and simple what we love to see.  Crashes to!  Slalom Ace out.