Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Taylor Swift Tuesday

Belated Tuesday, I suppose.  Trouble, trouble, trouble...

Slalom Ace out.

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

A Love To Crash For

Simply beautiful edit from Tyler Wallach and the USA Ski Cross crew.  If there's anything I'm excited about this season, it's the proliferation of Ski Cross crashes headed my way.

Always be sendin', Slalom Ace out.

East Coast

East Coast AF rn

Not All Heroes Wear Capes

But Christof Innerhofer does.  From today's downhill at Santa Caterina, Italy.  Top speed at the split with no goggles and a gate wrapped around his head.  Wow.  I wonder if his eyes watered at all?

Can I get an encore, do you want more?
He finished fourth overall.  Fourth.  How do you let that happen to you if you finish in 5th place.  "Yeah I coulda gone faster if I hit the wax."  Innerhofer carried a parachute down the hill with him!  Slalom Ace out.

Friday, December 25, 2015

12 Days of Christmas

On the twelfth day of Christmas
Slalom Tokyo gave to me:
Twelve B-Nets bending
Eleven crashers crashing
Ten Hirschers knifing
Nine Bodes chilling
Eight Marker bindings
Seven Shiffrins shiffing
Six Henriks slaying
Five World Cup Wins
Four new ligaments
Three Kitzbuhels
Two Lara Guts
A chick falling out of her skis!

Slalom Ace out.

Thursday, December 24, 2015

What Else Can You Do

Mad River Glen taking the bad news in good stride... I bet Stratton would try to hold a FIS race on this!

Slalom Ace out.

Twister Impersonation

Twister was submitted for patent by Charles F. Foley and Neil Rabens in 1966, and became a success when Eva Gabor played it with Johnny Carson on television's The Tonight Show on May 3, 1966. However, in its success, Twister was also controversial. The company that produced the game, Milton Bradley, was accused by its competitors of selling "sex in a box". That accusation was probably because Twister was the first popular American game to use human bodies as playing pieces.

Left hand... blue dot!  Right foot... red dot!
Slalom Ace out.

Wednesday, December 23, 2015


I meant to have my front buckle on three!  Not two!

Thanks to Kate for the photo!  Slalom Ace out.

One More Drone Video

Higher quality footage than yesterday.  This is still kinda surreal to me.  Sounds like FIS laid the hammer down on drones pretty quickly.  Probably a good idea... in a speed race this could have been so bad.

And I suppose we can show the champ!  Kristoffersen is very fun to watch.

Slalom Ace out.

Wet Wipe Wednesday

I would hate on this guy, but I've been in this position so many times.  Have some Chipotle before a big meeting... feel a little sleepy after filling that stomach up with meat... have a coffee to wake you up... and before you know it, you're in this exact same situation.  There but for the grace of God go I.

Thanks to Alex for the photo!  Slalom Ace out.

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Um, So Hirscher Just Got Drone Bombed?

A video posted by Slalom Tokyo Drift (@slalomtokyodrift) on

Skifi UK

When life gives you lemons...

Slalom Ace out.

World Cup Parallel GS

Pretty cool event last night.  Rumor has it the blue course was running a little faster.. but what are you gonna do!  Norway came out on top, which they've been doing a lot of recently!

Full vid:

Happy Vikings
Hirscher crash:

Slippery little snake!
I generally think these events are pretty cool.  The format needs to be worked out a bit, obviously it's not that challenging... but it definitely gets the people going!  Slalom Ace out.

Ricardo Jas

AKA: "Onelegety".  This guy fucking shreds.  Pretty sure he could flip it at a Carnival, not ruling out top 10.  Definitely would beat some BC kids.  That being said... it's harder to keep going after straddling with only one leg.  Marcel Hirscher doesn't have that problem!  From ParaSkiNL in Kuhtai.

Slalom Ace out.

Monday, December 21, 2015

Jumpman Edits Never Get Old

A video posted by Slalom Tokyo Drift (@slalomtokyodrift) on

Monday Morning In A Nutshell

Believe it or not, I think this is the exact same stance I had this morning when my alarm went off.  In this analogy, the ski three feet in the air is my alarm, and I'm looking at it with the exact same amount of disgust.

Slalom Ace out.

Of All The Tokyo Drifters...

Spencer, you're the Tokyo Driftiest.  This could not be more textbook Slalom Tokyo Drift.  Slalom with ruts the size of Normandy shell blasts, east coast early season, late bib number, objectively weak legs... going bad, to worse... the tuck at the end!  The tuck!  The tuck!

"Everything is awesomeeeeeeeee!"
Slalom Ace out.

Sunday, December 20, 2015

Tommy Ford, Arc City Mayor

Congrats to Tommy Ford, who SHREDDED second run at Alta Badia.  Tommy took advantage of the clean snow to win the run by .80, and moved from 30th to 12th on the day!  Arc City Mayor status, indeed.

Slalom Ace out.

Little Slip. Big Tumble.

This is just your classic Slalom Tokyo Drift "Bad To Worse" style crash.  You kidding me?  I love it.  I love it.

Slalom Ace out.

Snow Snake Sunday

From Aspen... the snow snake is a deadly, sneaky, elusive creature.  Ruby found it.

Slalom Ace out.

Saturday, December 19, 2015

When you get that two-thirty feeling mid course, your run wasn't going that well to begin with, and the only real solution is to nap it out like a goddamn bawse.

Slalom Ace out.

Congrats To Bryce Bennett!

Guy got his first World Cup Top 10 today... went from 57th to 6th!

Bryce was once shouted out in an American Mob song, believe it or not.  Many moons ago.  Slalom Ace out.

Slopestyle Training

Trent wrote it up better than I ever could... when you're racing at 9 but have slopestyle training at 10!

And also, gotta love the coach shouting out.  He knows his Slalom Tokyo Drift history!  Don't get much better than Liam Mulhern:

Though many have tried...

Slalom Ace out.

Friday, December 18, 2015

Happy Weekend Everyone!

May the starts of your weekends be better than it was for these guys.  Roll damn tide.

Slalom Ace out.

Failure To Launch Friday

Madi, I haven't seen anyone go that head over heels since Matthew McConaughey met SJP in Failure To Launch, a film focused on a 35-year-old man who lives in the home of his parents and shows no interest in leaving the comfortable life his parents, especially his mother, have made for him there.

Any chance I get to toss in a McConaughey relation... I take it.  Slalom Ace out.


Love being the coach in that situation... not that much constructive criticism you can give.  "Well bud, you looked great!  And then you were upside down missing a ski!  And that wasn't so great."  Gotta say, I've been LOVING the skiercross support this winter!  But I still need more #telemarktuesday.

Slalom Ace out.

Thursday, December 17, 2015

That's Not Where I Meant To Go Thursday

When you want to ski on the well lit trail with the light and course, but Marker Bindings wants to take you onto a trail full of dark corners for doing dark deeds.

Alternate caption is the Robert Frost edition.  Slalom Ace out.

When You Decide...

When you decide that ski racing isn't the sport for you, you've always hated it, you want to be a cross country runner, and the best time to start is now!  McGill ski team, Mount St. Anne.

Slalom Ace out.

Slalom Is Fun

Nothing like skiing a fresh slalom course with sharp skis and just feeling like the king of the world... I bet that's what Megan wishes she were doing right now:

Slalom Ace out.

Wednesday, December 16, 2015




Slalom Ace out.

Dab to Fail

Kind of reminds me of Cam Newton winning the NFC title game only to run into Bill Belichick's defense in the Super Bowl.  Dab.  To.  Fail.

Slalom Ace out.

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Just Sneaking In Toepiece Tuesday

Not midnight on the east coast yet!  So many Marker binding crashes... so little time.  Peter Fordyce at a USSA race at Sunday River.  And THIS is why you keep rolling video!  Dammit people!

Slalom Ace out!

Fanara Hates Beaver Creek

But even more awkward than this crash?  The juxtaposition between the Beaver Creek banner and the Korbel banner.  Pretty sure Korbel is twist-off.  And they might make peach flavor.  I think Tammi-Lynn gets Korbel when she wants to celebrate.

Never forget:

At least it's better than Andre.  Slalom Ace out.

Toepiece Tuesday

When you want to ski GS, but your Markers want you to ski slalom... just another day on the mean slopes.

Crashes to  Slalom Ace out.

Crystal Balls

From Mikaela on Crystal Balls

All evidence to the contrary:

Proof of crystal ball established.  Slalom Ace out.

Monday, December 14, 2015

Razzoli Bad Luck

I think my man Daniel Powter said it best: "You had a bad day, you're taking one down, you sing a sad song just to turn it around."

But Fanara... worse luck...

And THAT'S why you get forward over rolls.  Slalom Ace out.

Maniac Laughter Monday

Whoever's coach this guy is... he needs a new one.  Like.  What?  KAK KAK KAK KAK!!!

Slalom Ace out.

Rough Start To The Week

Mondays, am I right?

Friday, December 11, 2015

Frontflip Friday

Hey Gray,  I haven't seen anyone go that head over heels since PM Hugh Grant met Natalie at 10 Downing Street!


Slalom Ace out.

Thursday, December 10, 2015

If Inanimate Objects Had Thoughts And Feelings

"What a cocktease!" -- That blue fence, probably.

Slalom Ace out.

The Thrill of Victory...

And the agony of defeat... Skiercross, there can only be one!

Slalom Ace out.

I Hate To Say It

But that's what you get for not pole planting.


Slalom Ace out.

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Wasted Wednesday

"Did he just straddle that?  ... ooooooooooooo"  Karma's a bitch, we know Blair Waldorf is too.  From the mean streets of Los Santos, I bring you Sean Pomerantz, wasted.

Slalom Ace out!

Tying Shoelaces Together

The 2015 equivalent to tying shoelaces together... superglueing skiercross racers together!  How anyone thinks this sport is safe... I couldn't tell you.

Slalom Ace out.


*When you hear career services is offering unpaid finance internships* OUTTA MY WAY

I'm Ripping!

Well, that was a good use of time and money.  Audio very required.  And let this be a lesson to every coach out there... when the crash stars, keep rolling footage, dammit.

Slalom Ace out.

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Time To Dab

Was it great?  No.  But a promise is a promise.  Time to dab on 'em.

Basically the same thing, right?
Thanks to Trevor for the dab.  Slalom Ace out.

Candide Thovex Is The Best

Candide's newest -- no news if this is sponsored by Schick yet.

Some of my favorite videos to watch:

Slalom Ace out.

Interval Timing is for CHUMPS

"I hope I don't run out of time, could someone call a referee?"

Slalom Ace out.

Too Turnt Tuesday Proctor Edition

When coach tells you he did a good job putting in the B-Net, but you have to test for yourself.  Angie Duke from a Proctor night slalom last year!

Photo Cred to Erika!  Slalom Ace out.

Monday, December 7, 2015

Markus Duerager Monday

Any time your ski goes over FOUR rows of B-Net... you're gonna be on the drift.  Markus Duerager broke his hand and leg, but we know he will be back stronger and faster next year!

Slalom Ace out.

Monday Morning Back To Work

"Woah, Chloe... that's really round" pretty sure that's the least of her issues right now.... Chloe with your perfect Monday morning metaphor.

Crashes to, Slalom Ace out.

Sunday, December 6, 2015

Ted Ligety Gets The Tyson Treatment

Poor Ted.  Getting the full Mike Tyson treatment.


Slalom Ace out.

Go Your Own Way

When you're trying to be the arc city mayor but then your outside ski decides it's a strong independent ski that don't need no man.

Slalom Ace out.

Straight And Late Sunday

Ooooooh Bessie.  You know when you see something no one else does during inspection, you execute on it during your run, and get the W?  This is not one of these times.

Slalom Ace out.

Friday, December 4, 2015

First Person Friday

Jesus Kris Mahler!  Put your turn signals on before making a three lane change!

Slalom Ace out.


A video posted by Slalom Tokyo Drift (@slalomtokyodrift) on

Chitown chitown Michael Jordan just said text me (WOO!)

Slalom Ace out.

Thursday, December 3, 2015

No Thanks!

I'm just gonna hang out here and wait for this all to blow over -- see you by the weekend I hope.

Slalom Ace out.

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Well, Actually...

"Hey Coach!  How'd my run look before my fall?"  Well, actually...

Slalom Ace out.

Bad Boy Line

I've said it before, and I'll say it again.  If you're not a bad boy, don't ski the bad boy line.

Slalom Ace out.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Twirlybird Tuesday

When you're trying to be the arc city mayor but then you think WWJDD (what would Jason Derulo do) and the answer is obviously #twirlybirdtuesday.

Ramundberget is one of my favorite words to say.  Apparently it's in Sweden, but close to the Norwegian border.  Who knew?  Any way you slice it... very impressive recovery from Joachim!

Slalom Ace out.

Belated Move Bitch Monday

Audio highly recommended.  Emma Kearing isn't content to DNF... she's gotta take some coaches down with her!

Cue the music:

Slalom Ace out.

Long Year for Marker Bindings

Got the club going up... on a Tuesday!  But not just any Tuesday... TOEPIECE TUESDAY!

Slalom Ace out.