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Sunday, January 31, 2016

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Deception

Keep your eyes on the skier in the front rippping...


Boom.  That's not what you thought was gonna happen, was it?  (Actually, I guess the Youtube thumbnail pretty much gives it away).  Slalom Ace out.

No Thanks!

Before pushing out of the start gate at the Hahnennkam... (audio required)


Thanks to Jimmy for the video.  Slalom Ace out.

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Pulitzer

Maex Schneider... an early contender for the 2016 Pulitzer on his investigative journalism work detailing the relationship between Snow Snakes and B-Net in Northern Quebec.


Slalom Ace out.

Jane Austen Said It Best

What are men to rocks and mountains?


What a view.  Slalom Ace out.


Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Sam Morse Is Steezy

Sam Morse has skiing at 9am but a park session at 10.  Just a classic mixup right here.  You love to see it.


Slalom Ace out.

King Henrik

King Henrik went from over a second out after first run to winning by .61... and THAT's how you do it.


Slalom Ace out.

Hey, Slalom Tokyo Drift?

"Do start fails ever get old?"

"I don't know... do you ever get tired of sunsets?"



Slalom Ace out.

Tomahawk Tuesday

I honestly have no idea what set of parents allows their children to participate in this sport... but it sure is great for the pageviews!  Thank you skiercross moms and dads.


Slalom Ace out.

Monday, January 25, 2016

Put Your Headphones On

These crashes are all about audio, so plug in those headphones and crank it the fuck up.  Let's take it from the top:

Megan, is your coach Woody Harrelson?  Seriously, who found this guy and told him to stand on the side of a race hill?




Oh you thought the REVENANT had carnage in a winter setting that ultimately won't lead to an award win?




Yeah?  You're gonna get a little farm in Manchester?  Well you better switch it from a three bedroom to a two bedroom, because THAT KID JUST DIED.




Thanks coach.  That's the name of the game right there.  Gotta get that footy for the boys.



Wish I had someone like this in my life on Friday and Saturday nights.  "WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!"


Slalom Ace out.

Panthers Win

In honor of Cam Newton running over everything in his path, I guess I can let it slide just for today... but bruh, #stopwhitepeople2K16!


Slalom Ace out.

Sunday, January 24, 2016

Saturday, January 23, 2016

Congrats To Peter Fill!

Kitzbuhel Champion.  Good luck and best wishes to Aksel, Hannes, and Georg who took some pretty nasty crashes.


Crashes:



Slalom Ace out.

Friday, January 22, 2016

Thursday, January 21, 2016

Bruh

Virginia Tech bout to drop the hottest mixtape of 2016:

I got a glock in my 'rari and some 'tomics in my Subaru
Slalom Ace out.

Hey Guys!

It's almost the weekend!


Slalom Ace out.

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Sliding Into Your DMs Like...

This is exactly what Lara Gut didn't do to me.


Slalom Ace out.

Well

Well, that was a good use of time and money.  Bet Zoe drove four hours for this race too.


Slalom Ace out.

Just A Classic Scenario

I've seen this movie a thousand times.  You're arcing slalom, but then your ex-girlfriend is on the lift.  You don't want to see her, so you do the adult thing, hip out, and slide under the B-Nets.  A story as old as time itself.


Slalom Ace out.

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Blame It On The Atomics

That look when it's TOTALLY the ski's fault and not yours.  Marcel Hirscher, Wengen.

"If only I had been less weird this summer!"
Slalom Ace out.

Stowe Carnage

From Colby Jordan, there was some SERIOUS carnage at Stowe SG training the other day.

Gavin Chen going from bad to worse:

Sandy Vietze piping it up to 1000:

Today seems like a good day to be retired!  Slalom Ace out.

Remember Kids, Get Health Insurance

Matthew Macalouso crashing and burning harder than Martin O'Malley in the second half of a debate...



Slalom Ace out.

Monday, January 18, 2016

Just Quirrell Stuff

When you're arcing downhill but then Professor Quirrell jinxes your Fischerbolt and Snape is trying to counter-curse but he's distracted by a new Lara Gut instagram so he breaks eye contact and you crash into the B-Net.


Slalom Ace out.

Coming Into Monday Like

...


Slalom Ace out.

Sunday, January 17, 2016

Tim Kelley In The Points

After thirty previous attempts, Tim Kelley got his first world cup points today!  Started fortieth and finished TWELTH!  My man!  Way to go Tim, from one Slalom Ace to another.


Slalom Ace out.

Jesus Breezy

Has your other ski landed yet?


Slalom Ace out.

Friday, January 15, 2016

Head Over Heels

I haven't seen anyone go that head over heels since Bugs Bunny met Lola in the classic 1996 animated film "Space Jam"!


Slalom Ace out.

Thursday, January 14, 2016

Bad Boy Line

That's the thing about the bad boy line.  You can't just decide you "Don't wanna ski it anymore."  The bad boy line tells you what to do.  It's like the Hotel California.  You can never leave.


Slalom Ace out.

Feel The Rhythm, Feel The Rhyme

Suck on my lucky egg mon!  Fire flames edit from Austria


Slalom Ace out.

Kind Of Freaking Chill

Cold as ice


Slalom Ace out.

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

I've Said It Before

And I'll say it again.  If you're not a bad boy.  Don't ski the bad boy line.  "I should get closer to the gates... I should get closer to the gates... I should get closer to the gates... FUCK!"


Slalom Ace out.

Well...

Well, that was a good use of time and money.



These kids probably drove 7 hours for these races.  Slalom Ace out.

Monday, January 11, 2016

Sending Cancelled

When you forget to pay your sending bills so the utility company turns off the send :(


Slalom Ace out.

Just Your Classic Monday Vibes

Audio required.  So close, and yet so far.  Ski racing is fun, right guys?


Slalom Ace out.

Yes I Know Guac Is Extra

Still feels better on the stomach than Chipotle.


Slalom Ace out.

Sunday, January 10, 2016

Hotline Bling Ski Ballet Edit

From the brain of the most magnificent, soon to be promoted, Sam Mason:  The Hotline Bling Ski Ballet Edit.

video

Or if that doesn't work:


@markerbindings, you used to call me on my cell phone.  Slalom Ace out.